Hello there! I hope this letter finds you well.
I realize this is not a typical time of day for a message from The Musician Journals, but after an experience in class that reminded me of something important to keep in mind, I felt the need to quickly relay that.
In this class today, we learned about five composers in the 20th century that we did not previously know much about. It was so exciting to discover new composers and new music—I’m hoping to learn some of these pieces sometime soon! After learning about the composer’s background and what some of their prominent piano works are, we then took some time to listen to recordings of these works. One piece in particular was quite exciting to hear. It was clearly very difficult technically, and was played at a fast tempo. I felt utterly astounded as the piece ended, and a fellow student must have felt some of that astonishment as well because he asked the professor if he had ever seen this piece performed live. The professor responded that the recording was his own. We all let out a breath and I uttered, “oh my gosh.” My classmate who had asked the question looked at me with a grin on his face as if to agree, “oh my gosh!”
Then, of course, the internal voices of imposter syndrome starting to creep up— “I’m nowhere near as good as he is.”; “my recital was amateur hour compared to that.”; “I have so much work to do. I never sound that skilled.” Etc., etc. etc.
Suddenly I realized that I really had no right to compare myself to my professor. He has many more years of practice and performance experience than I do. We are at very different stations in our individual journeys. He was once where I am at right now. And that is why I am here, anxiously and eagerly learning what I can from him. Listening to him, if anything, shows me what is possible from here on.
Similarly, as a piano teacher, my young students often look at me after I play something for them (usually a demonstration of their piece/exercise) and ask, “how do you sound so good?” My response is always the same: “Lots of practice!” I was once where they were. It’s taken a long time and many ups and downs to get to where I am now. It certainly isn’t fair-nor is it healthy-for them to try and compare their current level with mine. So many years of practice has gone into getting here; years that they haven’t had yet.
What about you? Are you comparing yourself to someone you really shouldn’t be comparing yourself to? It’s often said that we make the mistake of comparing our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. Perhaps instead of comparing ourselves to each other, we can instead take inspiration from each other. Those who are at more advanced stages in their journeys and have strongly developed skills that we are still trying to develop ourselves can be examples of what is possible when we hang in there long enough without letting imposter syndrome get us down.
Be kind, gentle, and patient with yourself. Happy practicing!