Musicians and Imposter Syndrome: How to Cope
Your inner critic can be rather harsh. What can we do when it becomes overwhelming?
Hello there! Wishing you a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. Thank you for your patience with the inconsistency lately…. I hope to get back on track this summer!
Imposter syndrome can strike anyone—it’s well known that high achievers often struggle with anxiety associated with imposter syndrome. So what is it exactly? Imposter syndrome basically means you are plagued with feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy. You worry that your achievements were the results of flukes rather than your own hard work and persistence. You fear people will realize that you were actually undeserving or unqualified and see you as the “pretender” that you really are. While there are many ways that imposter syndrome can show itself, the most common ways I have seen it in myself are the following:
1.) Becoming frustrated during practice when trying to master a difficult concept and obsessing over that one rude, negative comment I got from a critic a year ago. The negativity ruminates and I begin to fear that the critic was right. Then I cannot remember any of the positive feedback I have gotten from anyone ever. If I do happen to remember a positive comment from someone, then I fear it was not the truth.
2.) Unintentionally comparing myself to my colleagues or mentors. I know this is unhealthy and unhelpful, so I am constantly reminding myself not to do this, but sometimes it sneaks up on me. Then I fear that everyone else is so much more skilled, talented, or qualified than I am. They are all so successful—or they are on track to be—and somehow I will be left behind. Who am I, really, to try and run in the same group with them?
3.) I work so hard in my practice/school work and it never seems to be enough. My mentors must be so annoyed with me. In the worst case scenarios, they must think I am stupid or have pity on me.
4.) I really haven’t deserved the success and accomplishments I have enjoyed so far. They must be flukes. I wasn’t that good.
5.) There are so many talented people out there—many of whom are younger than I am—so there is no way I will get to where I want to go as long as I have to compete with them to get there.
Do you—whether you are a musician or not—recognize any of these ruthless cycles in your life? They can be extremely brutal when they come upon you, and it can be challenging to overcome them. Thankfully, though, there are some methods you can try; I have found them to be helpful and hope you will too.
Method 1: Keep a file, journal, or some other record of every achievement or all positive feedback you receive. I actually wrote several of these positive comments from colleagues and mentors on small sticky notes that I stuck on various pages of my music. Now, when I practice, if I feel myself falling or spiraling into a dark place and mentally hearing the negative comments I have received from harsh critics, I can quickly find a positive comment from someone I love, trust, value, and respect.
Method 2: Consider who the critic is. Chances are these rude, disrespectful, harsh comments came from someone who does not know you or care about helping you. Why dismiss or overlook the constructive comments/feedback from those who DO care about you and your success and focus on the jerk who does not? Actually visualize washing away the rude comments (or somehow throwing them away/disposing of them). Maybe even write them down and get rid of the paper to symbolize that you will not let the unhelpful comments consume you anymore.
Method 3: Everyone has their own path in life, and everyone—EVERYONE—has their weaknesses and/or insecurities. Nobody is perfect. Instead of obsessing over others’ strengths and comparing them to your weaknesses, consider channeling your energy into the one thing you can control—your own work and your own progress. Your best will always be enough to get you where you need to be in your life.
Method 4: When you find yourself fearing what others are thinking of you and your abilities, consider this: what basis do you have for these thoughts? Remember that feelings are not necessarily facts. If I fear that my mentor thinks I am stupid, I ask myself: has this person ever indicated they think that? What basis is there for this thought? Do I really have access to their inner thoughts? Every time I have reflected on these questions, the answer is always no or baseless. I’m blessed with tremendous mentors in my life and none of them have ever implied or indicated that they think I am dumb or somehow “less than.” I have always been able to trust them and what they say, and what they say is always tactful and constructive.
Method 5: If you think you have not deserved your accomplishments or success so far, remember that nobody owes you anything. People are not going to reward you if you haven’t earned it (I realize there may be exceptions to this; however, I believe that, for most of us, we don’t receive opportunities without first demonstrating we are indeed worthy of them). Your hard work and perseverance does pay off and you are allowed to enjoy these moments. Make sure to keep a record of each one. If you have photos from these special events, display those around your house or keep them handy on your phone so you can easily access them.
Hopefully you will realize just how amazing, capable, and deserving you really are. Enjoy this holiday weekend and see you next week!
Community thread prompt: How do you cope with self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy?