Rested, Recharged, and Ready to Go
How a couple of tumultuous weeks can teach you an abundance of important lessons
I can’t believe it has been over a month since our last article! Thank you for your patience and understanding—the end of the semester came up quickly and was busier than I thought it would be. Research papers, presentations, final exams, jury performance…. it was a lot to take in but I was grateful for every opportunity and learning experience!
The next major event is my fall recital. I am unbelievably excited to perform in my first Master’s recital. While practicing one of my pieces this week, I became overwhelmed with feelings of perfectionism, self-doubt, and inadequacy. This piece has been extremely challenging for me to learn, and I am still working through the technical difficulties. It is a beautiful piece that I love and I believe will be an excellent part of this special recital, but right now, I am working to get to that place where I feel comfortable playing it. There have, unfortunately, been two negative experiences in the last year when receiving feedback from professionals. The rude comments they made sneak up on me every now and then and, in extreme cases, I start worrying they may be right.
Perhaps you know this feeling. Whether you are a musician or not, we all have important things we wish to do well with and any hurtful comments others make tend to stick in our minds. We all struggle with self-doubt and inadequacy from time to time. Thankfully, I was able to pull through this week and wish to share some insights that will hopefully be of help to you in your life.
1.) Reflect on past accomplishments
We all have things we have done well. We’ve all had positive experiences where we’ve proven to ourselves that we CAN achieve whatever it is we’ve put our minds to—no matter how small. Realizing that our determination and hard work does matter and that we are capable of achieving great things can be a wonderful boost.
2.) Reach out to mentors
Hopefully, we all have people in our lives who have been where we are. As a result, we trust and respect their input. They are honest and upfront, yet tactful. Their compliments are meaningful because you know they don’t make compliments insincerely. I am fortunate to have such supportive mentors in my life, and the contact I had with them this week was imperative to my overcoming these overwhelming perfectionist feelings. They gave honest feedback on how my progress was really going and assured me that I can trust them and they are there to help me. They gave me practice tips, as well as “food for thought,” which was very helpful to reflect on during my time away from the piano. As musicians, we aren’t meant to go about it alone—just as we aren’t meant to go about life alone.
3.) Read helpful books and articles
During this week, I read a couple of chapters in The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. She made the point that perfectionism is not about striving to do your best. It is not the same as healthy growth and achievement, and it is often “other-focused.” We struggle with perfectionism when we worry too much about how we are perceived by others. For example, what about the two individuals who made the insulting comments? Why let the offensive feedback of a couple overshadow the helpful feedback of the many who truly care about helping me? Shrug off the need to impress everyone and focus on what’s truly important: working hard; staying positive; being kind to yourself (especially when things are challenging!); taking care of body and mind; and listening to the mentors who are in your life for a reason. You can trust their feedback and the tips they encourage you to implement. Embrace what is important and helpful, and throw away the rest.
After taking a few days to rest, recharge, and reflect on these points, I am happy to say that I am motivated and ready to go! I know I will be able to learn this challenging piece well, and it will be a beautiful performance in my recital. Hope you see yourself for the truly amazing, talented individual that you are. Have a beautiful weekend, and see you next week!
Community thread prompt: How do you overcome feelings of perfectionism, self-doubt, or inadequacy?